Oh no. It's on ESPN, so I have to take the Favre rumours seriously. As long as they were on SI, I could ignore it. They're just catty bitches over there. But, ESPN. That's for real. They've posted one of their nifty polls asking what Favre will be doing this upcoming NFL season.
Poll Options:
Suiting up in the NFL
Calling NFL games as a color commentator
Fishing in Mississippi
Suiting up in the NFL
Calling NFL games as a color commentator
Fishing in Mississippi
I chose fishing. Born and raised in W. PA, my heart and soul belongs to the Black & Gold (country song!). However, we did live in Green Bay, Wisconsin for a time. That is football country, y'all. I respect that. I could never live there again. But, I will travel hundreds of miles out of my way to taste the miracle that is Storheim's frozen custard. Oprah likes Kopp's, but I find them subpar. Of course, the secret is that Storheim's is made fresh on the premises. I still dream of the day we bopped in and the special flavor was Kiwi Champagne. Let the masses have their Rocky Road or Maple Pecan, I still remember your barely-there tint and fruity piquancy. We may not have been destined to be together long in this world, but on a clear day, you can see forever... Wait, this is about football.
My mother is from Wisconsin, so she's a fan of the Green Bay Packers. And, she never rooted harder than when her beloved Brett Farvey threw the long bombs at Lambeau. I lurve me some Favre, too. If you love football, you can't help but love Favre. He plays just like every kid who couldn't resist a quick pick-up game, even though you're in your Saturday best and your daddy's gonna kill you if a speck of dirt gets on that pinafore.
It was beyond weird, awkward, unsettling and disturbing to watch Number 4 quarterback for the Jets last year. I imagine it's like sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner with your dad who has just married one of your high school friends. You can't slap anyone; you can't barf on the table; and, you haven't been excused from the table. If Mommy hadn't been such a shrew (that's you, Ted Thompson), Daddy wouldn't be slummin' it in green and white. So, you just sit there hoping dinner will be over soon, and you'll be able to wash this taste out of your mouth with some Iron City beer at home. I'm not even a diehard Packers fan! Gaah!
But, then Daddy put down his big city tramp and returned to ride that lawnmower into the sunset. The world was right, and stuffing was safe to eat again. Now, there's talk of Favre zooming up to Minnesota to once again gall the eyes. OK, last time was Mommy's fault, so I behaved. This time, I'm stabbing people with the carving fork and pissing in the cranberry sauce. Have seconds, Minnesota and North Dakota.
My mother is from Wisconsin, so she's a fan of the Green Bay Packers. And, she never rooted harder than when her beloved Brett Farvey threw the long bombs at Lambeau. I lurve me some Favre, too. If you love football, you can't help but love Favre. He plays just like every kid who couldn't resist a quick pick-up game, even though you're in your Saturday best and your daddy's gonna kill you if a speck of dirt gets on that pinafore.
It was beyond weird, awkward, unsettling and disturbing to watch Number 4 quarterback for the Jets last year. I imagine it's like sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner with your dad who has just married one of your high school friends. You can't slap anyone; you can't barf on the table; and, you haven't been excused from the table. If Mommy hadn't been such a shrew (that's you, Ted Thompson), Daddy wouldn't be slummin' it in green and white. So, you just sit there hoping dinner will be over soon, and you'll be able to wash this taste out of your mouth with some Iron City beer at home. I'm not even a diehard Packers fan! Gaah!
But, then Daddy put down his big city tramp and returned to ride that lawnmower into the sunset. The world was right, and stuffing was safe to eat again. Now, there's talk of Favre zooming up to Minnesota to once again gall the eyes. OK, last time was Mommy's fault, so I behaved. This time, I'm stabbing people with the carving fork and pissing in the cranberry sauce. Have seconds, Minnesota and North Dakota.
Poll Results:
Suiting up...31% (MN & ND)
Calling games...9% (people who know nothing)
Fishing in Mississippi...59% (me and the rest of the kids)
Suiting up...31% (MN & ND)
Calling games...9% (people who know nothing)
Fishing in Mississippi...59% (me and the rest of the kids)
No comments:
Post a Comment